My Near Death Experience

To begin with, there are two things I need to explain. The first is my Aunt Beverly. Beverly spent a large portion of my life living with her sister, my mother, in our home. She was a surrogate mother. Beverly never married, never had children of her own. My brothers and sisters were considered hers as well as my mothers.

In 2003 Aunt Beverly passed away. While time and distance had separated us some, I still felt very close to my Aunt. When I was first diagnosed with colon cancer in 2002, and had just begun treatment, I was very apprehensive about what was going to happen. One night I had a very strong dream, where I was standing in my living room, and Aunt Beverly was behind me, and she told me everything was going to be alright. The dream left a warm and comforting feeling. When I discussed the dream with my mother, she did not sound surprised, remarking that she thought Beverly must have been with me as she had not felt her presence as of late.

So there seems to be a close bound between us, especially in my time of need.

In September of this year (2004), I had my first chemotherapy treatment for colon cancer that has metastasized to my lungs. I had been through chemo and radiation before, and thought I knew what to expect. I made it through the day but it hit me hard. I am getting two additional drugs on top of the two I received during my previous chemotherapy in 2002. I was very sick, couldn’t eat and barely drink. I had treatment on Wednesday, and was very sick through Saturday. By Sunday I was not feeling too bad, and Monday morning I went in to work.

I was at work about half an hour when I began to get sick, and for about 40 minutes I was very ill. I was very tired and weak by then, and went to my office and closed the door and laid down on the floor. I had to get up a couple more times, then laid down again. I this point I was wore out – completely. I was so weak, I just shut down.

Laying on the floor, I did not know if I was ever going to get up again. I actually said my prayers to God, and told him if this was my time, so be it. I was down and did not think I could get up.

I dozed a bit, then had a strange feeling that there were a whole bunch of people standing around me, looking down on me laying there on the floor. Then one came forward, my Aunt Beverly, and told me to “get up”. It was very strong and powerful, and shook me to the core.

I got up. I dragged myself up my desk and into my chair, and dialed my wife, and told her I was going to the emergency room. That was it. I did not wait for a response. I stumbled around the corner to a co-workers office, interrupted his meeting and said “I need to go to the ER now”. Somehow I got to the car, and I know we went very fast. They got me in and hooked me up, at first fearing it was my heart. I watched them get the paddles out, hook up all the wires, I even got the nitro pill. After an hour or so they determined it was a reaction to the chemo along with severe dehydration. I took two big bags of fluids and lots of nausea meds. After almost four hours, I was able to get up and go home – and slept for 16 hours.

How close was it? Very close. I suffered for a few more days and forced myself to drink, still dehydrated. In my heart I feel if I would not have gotten up, I would have died laying there on the floor. Once again, I have my Aunt Beverly and those with her, our savior Jesus and God almighty for their help. That day was one of the worst I have ever known, but it was also one of the best. I feel it was a turning point in my life, both in dealing with cancer, and in dealing with God. Not matter what, he is with us, and we just have to “get up”.

October 2004