The Walker Within

There is only darkness, emptiness, the existence of nothing. Ever so small a trace of light permeates the dark stillness, a wisp of nothing through the essence of nothing. It swirls and dances, softly flowing through the darkness. From where it came light gradually glows, radiating warmth and love, it is the creation of all that there is and I understand I am that tiny flare of light that has breeched the darkness.

This is my place, surrounded by nothing, blackness behind me, and the soft light from where I came filling my soul with who I am and where I have come from. It is a safe place, where I come to think and dwell, a place known only to me and to God. The light is the warmth of God, and I feel his outpouring of love and compassion, his power and warmth; as he has created me, and I am a living part of his essence, created and sent from the light, to move forth into the darkness.

Behind me a long dark bridge forms from the blackness, a soft gray light highlights the path as I turn to face it; the light and warmth of God behind me. I am dressed in travelers clothes, a small pack on my shoulder, a staff in my hand, soft shoes on my feet; I am ready for the journey. I start down the long causeway from my special place to another world, another time, another place. Gradually colors begin to grow in front of me, and the world takes shape. I pause, at the edge of the darkness, before I step into the colors and look back over my shoulder at the light of all creation, and smile in thanks for this chance to journey into the world.

The journey begins with a step, one of many into the growing colors of the world. Soft grass blooms beneath my feet, green fields with gold and other vibrant colors surround me, the soft blue hue of oceans so clean and wide nearby. A soft breeze twirls through the air, carrying me forward, like I am a feather dancing and blowing on the wind. Through hills and valleys, over mountains and rivers, the soft path carries me, and all the while, the bright sun shines and I can feel its warmth fill me with endless joy and I always feel the presence of God. I walk for time unknown, seemingly endless, marveling at the wonders that God has created for me to see, taking in the overpowering essence of all that he has created for me.

After a time, riding the currents, soaring through the visions of endless beauty of the world I descend from the mountains, slowly through the hills and again I am walking through the grasslands of the world, a feeling of peace and contentment filling my soul. Like a dream a small cabin appears before me; small but sturdy, built with time and the hands of love. It is home, and I feel the embrace of its warmth as it welcomes me. I step up onto the porch and set the knapsack on the dark grained wood, and lean the staff against the wall, and open the door to a place like no other. It beckons me and I step inside. The room is plain, yet comfortable, furnished with love. I wander the hallways and rooms, each filled with love and memories, warmth and peace. 

I come to a special room within, filed with the essence of all that I am. It seems to permeate my soul, filling me with warmth and peace. I am surrounded by so many things held dear to me, things of my past and future, pieces of love from my life. Before me lies a simple wood chest, carved with care and patience, and it holds love. I kneel before it and open the chest, and it is filled with cherished memories from the beginning of time. Warm colors dance before my eyes as I peer into it, light rising from within, filling me with such joy I it is difficult to keep from bursting with happiness and peace. I see laughing children and soft caresses; old friends and glorious gifts. There are fiends and family, my love of eternity, my soul mate, and those I have begotten and their children through time. There is such joy. It is all that I am.

I close the chest and rise, a feeling of peace like nothing I have ever known filling my heart, flowing throughout my body. I step back onto the porch and off into the soft earth. A few paces away I stop and kneel again, and reach into my pocket and pull a single seed from within. Softly I move the earth and plant the seed in soil like none that has every existed. As I lay the seed gently into the earth and slowly cover it with rich fertile soil, the seed has already sprouted, and rises from the ground. From where I am I am pulled within the tree that begins a seedling and slowly matures to a tree, I am the essence of all that it is, and it is all that I am. It grows miraculously, reaching upwards towards the light, branches by the thousands, intertwined reach out from the center, each blossoming with ponderous leaves of green, soaking in the sunshine and warmth.

The tree grows, and its presence dominates all that there is, and I look down from with and watch the days unfold beneath me. Children laugh and run beneath my branches, lovers stop to kiss; babies take their first steps, and old men take their last breaths. It is life beneath my leaves, and I guard it closely, casting shade when their is need, and allowing the warmth of sunlight through my branches to reach those below. There is always warmth and their is always peace.

I feel my soul slide from the tree and again it fills me as I kneel before it. The tree is thick and strong, rooted deeply within the earth, and reaching to the heavens. It has been seconds since I first pushed the seed into the soil, but endless time has passed while I filled the tree with love. I rise, slowly and softly, feeling the sunlight through the leaves, feeling the soft wind upon my smile as it is time to continue the journey. I pick up my pack and grasp my staff. My hands are strong and my heart if full. One more time I take in the home I love, and the tree I gave, and smile approvingly at what God has let me do.

The grass moves beneath my feet, the journey of time moves on. I walk and experience the gifts God has granted to me. Gradually I flow through time, and the path returns to where it had begun. Before me lies the bridge from all I have know, to all that there is. I turn, and take in the colors, knowing they will forever be with me, and smile. I turn towards the bridge, and walk to the light of my beginning, that beckons through the darkness from whence I came, the warm embrace of God.

Like a dream the walker fades, distance growing from my eyes, grayness and darkness surround that to which he goes. As he reaches the other side he turns and looks back at me, and we are the same but apart. Behind him I see and feel the light, the warmth of creation, the essence of my soul and the peace of God. He smiles, and turns to go, fading away into the darkness, but always we are connected, kindred souls locked together through God.

Light turns to dark and dark to light, and I am the dreamer who has been on the journey within myself. I become aware of sounds and smells around me. I hear children laughing, the touch of a loved one. I say goodbye to the walker within me and open my eyes. Peace and warmth surround me. Pain and anxiety are no more, fear and worry have fled. I see myself as never before, as see life as the journey to be taken, and the journey within. I look to my life and cherish the moment, filled with peace and joy, and give thanks for each passing day that has been granted to me by the will of God.

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This poem was inspired by one of the many relaxation exercises of Bernie Siegel. I thank him for the dream.

September 3, 2004 ~ Faith, Healing and God